This might help to explain the lack of posts this week...
Week 3
Day - Subject - Type - Time
Sun - Trusts - Articles - 2h 40mins
- Trusts - Essay - 2h 30mins
- Trusts - Introductory Textbook - 30mins
- Trusts - Textbook - 2h 20mins
Sun Total - 8h
Mon - Trusts - Textbook - 5h 40mins
Mon Total - 5h 40mins
Tue - Trusts - Revision - 30mins
- Trusts - Tutorial - 1h 10mins
- Trusts - Textbook - 3h 20mins
- Trusts - Cases / Articles - 3h 40mins
Tue Total - 8h 40mins
Wed - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 4h 25mins
- Trusts - Essay - 2h 40mins
Wed Total - 7h 5mins
Thur - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lectures - 2h
- Trusts - Article - 2h
- Tort - Textbook - 2h 30mins
Thur Total - 7h 30mins
Fri - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Land - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Revision - 20mins
- Trusts - Tutorial - 1h
- Trusts - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Textbook - 15mins
Fri Total - 4h 35mins
Sat - Tort - Textbook - 2h 15mins
- Tort - Cases - 1h 40mins
- Tort - Textbook - 1h 50mins
Sat Total - 5h 45mins
Totals:
Trusts Reading List 2 - 20h 55mins (+2h 30mins Essay)
Trusts Reading List 3 - 20h 15mins (+2h 40mins Essay)
Week Total - 47h 15mins
Monday, October 31, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Intellectual Honesty: Lord Denning
(With apologies to my non-lawyer friends)
If Lord Denning had any intellectual honesty:
Scene: The Court of Appeal
Judge: ...And for those reasons this action must fail. I dismiss the appeal of Lord Denning.
Denning's Lawyer: What?! You can't be serious!
Judge: [Annoyed] And for that display of bad faith, I order him to pay costs to the court.
Denning's Lawyer: But what you said doesn't bear any relation to the established law!
Denning: [Impressed] No no, fair's fair. After all, he mentioned equity a bunch of times *and* he told a nicely obscure story to go with it!
Denning's Lawyer: [Shaking his head] Oh well, at least there's always the House of Lords...
Denning: [Baffled] The Lords? Why would we want to pay any heed to them?
If Lord Denning had any intellectual honesty:
Scene: The Court of Appeal
Judge: ...And for those reasons this action must fail. I dismiss the appeal of Lord Denning.
Denning's Lawyer: What?! You can't be serious!
Judge: [Annoyed] And for that display of bad faith, I order him to pay costs to the court.
Denning's Lawyer: But what you said doesn't bear any relation to the established law!
Denning: [Impressed] No no, fair's fair. After all, he mentioned equity a bunch of times *and* he told a nicely obscure story to go with it!
Denning's Lawyer: [Shaking his head] Oh well, at least there's always the House of Lords...
Denning: [Baffled] The Lords? Why would we want to pay any heed to them?
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Work Timetable - Week 2
Week 2
Day - Subject - Type - Time
Sun - Tort - Textbook - 4h 30mins
- Tort - Cases - 3h 30mins
Sun Total - 8h
Mon - Tort - Cases - 1h 15mins
- Tort - Essay - 1h 10mins
- Tort - Cases / Articles - 1h 10mins
Mon Total - 3h 35mins
Tue - Tort - Articles - 3h 45mins
- Tort - Tutorial - 1h 15mins
Tue Total - 5h
Wed - Trusts - Introductory Textbook - 45mins
- Trusts - Textbook - 1h
- Trusts - Cases - 2h 45mins
Wed Total - 4h 30mins
Thur - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lectures - 2h
- Trusts - Textbook - 2h
Thur Total - 5h
Fri - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Land - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Textbook - 3h 20mins
- Trusts - Cases - 45mins
Fri Total - 8h 5mins
Sat - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 7h 10mins
Sat Total - 7h 10mins
Totals:
Tort Reading List 5 - 22h 5mins (+1h 10mins Essay)
Week Total - 41h 20mins
Day - Subject - Type - Time
Sun - Tort - Textbook - 4h 30mins
- Tort - Cases - 3h 30mins
Sun Total - 8h
Mon - Tort - Cases - 1h 15mins
- Tort - Essay - 1h 10mins
- Tort - Cases / Articles - 1h 10mins
Mon Total - 3h 35mins
Tue - Tort - Articles - 3h 45mins
- Tort - Tutorial - 1h 15mins
Tue Total - 5h
Wed - Trusts - Introductory Textbook - 45mins
- Trusts - Textbook - 1h
- Trusts - Cases - 2h 45mins
Wed Total - 4h 30mins
Thur - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lectures - 2h
- Trusts - Textbook - 2h
Thur Total - 5h
Fri - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Land - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Textbook - 3h 20mins
- Trusts - Cases - 45mins
Fri Total - 8h 5mins
Sat - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 7h 10mins
Sat Total - 7h 10mins
Totals:
Tort Reading List 5 - 22h 5mins (+1h 10mins Essay)
Week Total - 41h 20mins
Smo Tells It Like It Is
This took place in Rich's room Thursday night, when a number of us randomly met up:
[Introducing friends]
Abi: Smo, this is Neil. Neil, Smo. [Explaining] Smo is Sarah's boyfriend, and Pete's old friend from school.
Neil: Oh, really? Small world, huh?
Abi: Not really, she met him through Pete.
Neil: Oh, right.
Abi: It's quite sweet, really.
Smo: Sweet? I stole Pete's girlfriend from him on his birthday, and it was sweet?
Abi: Well I'm rather glad you did...
[Neil looks on, baffled]
[Introducing friends]
Abi: Smo, this is Neil. Neil, Smo. [Explaining] Smo is Sarah's boyfriend, and Pete's old friend from school.
Neil: Oh, really? Small world, huh?
Abi: Not really, she met him through Pete.
Neil: Oh, right.
Abi: It's quite sweet, really.
Smo: Sweet? I stole Pete's girlfriend from him on his birthday, and it was sweet?
Abi: Well I'm rather glad you did...
[Neil looks on, baffled]
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Sick Days
Bah. I'm ill. I've had this damn cold for a week now and although it has got better, it has seemed to level off into a perpetual state. This is annoying.
I first remember feeling it over a week ago, on Wednesday 12th. Its peak was Thursday, when I woke feeling dead. I still managed to drag my way through a respectable amount of work though, and attended the (surprisingly poor this year) "No Confidence in Her Majesty's Government" debate at the Union. The motion failed, so apparently the Union favours the Government now... I didn't get nearly enough sleep, so felt bad the next day. Events did not help. I ended up looking through my notes for my first week of Trusts in Burger King (Mmm...) and fighting against the wooziness in my head when trying to argue against my new tutor. Was Hunter v Moss correctly decided? I thought yes, but my tutor has come close to persuading me otherwise. I realise this probably means nothing to anyone likely to read my blog. Oh well.
Unfortunately, despite my request that I leave a bit early to get to the lecture (Trusts, no less - the very one she had strongly recommended we attend!) it didn't happen, so I had to dash across town. And feel ill once in said lecture. Bugger. Once I got home it was soon time to go out to the Socrates Society drinks with Abi. It's a philosophy society, and we have both now joined. There is a SocSoc meal on Sunday discussing ethics and hedonism, so I'm looking forward to that... We had to stay beyond the end waiting for Michelle (from Exeter college) because as Treasurer of the Society she had to stay to clear away.
The three of us then headed back down Abingdon Road, but beyond Ab House to Edith Road, home of the Exeter Massive, including Steve and Blath who were having a joint par-tay. Woo! It was a fun one as well. There had already been quite a bit of revelry before we arrived, evidence by people complaining about food having been smeared in strange places, and the fact that Sarah was drunk. She of course denied this at the time. But the fact that she was going around trying to trick people into drinking her vodka and orange (mixed in a 1:1 ratio, no less,) did give it away slightly.
Rich and Steve were also getting there drink-wise. Steve kept apologising for spiking my drink the previous weekend, appearing quite guilty about it. Rich still found it amusing of course, and I found out that Sarah had had a hand in it too! In any case a number of us ended up in Steve's room, drinking and chatting. Sarah had a beer, even though she still said it was horrible. At one point Steve and I hugged and Sarah decided to join in but managed to unbalance us onto the floor! Steve and Rich seemed...very close. Some of Abi's pictures towards the end of this post on her blog are the best evidence available.
It was a fun night indeed. As well as having a great time with a number of friends from both Hertford and Exeter, I got to play Twister (which, with so many drunk people, is hilarious!). Sarah 'won'. She also was sitting on it almost the whole time. Eventually Rich and Em took her home and Rich returned. I chatted to fellow lawyers Neil and Hannah. Hertford lawyers are often quite reluctant to talk about Law, so it was good to swap a few opinions. Eg. I like Tort but hate Contract with a passion, but most other people have it the other way around. Odd. At the end of the night it looked like Rich might just lay down and refuse to come with us, but he was as good as gold in the end. :-)
As for me, a good night's sleep was well needed, and came as blessed relief. It also was one reason that I didn't show up to the Freshers' post-matriculation drinks the next day, like I was supposed to. The other reason was that I had been confused, thinking I was needed for the Ball in the evening. To make up for the slip I helped set up the Hall from 2:30pm until about 3:15pm, and then from 6:00pm until the Ball started at 8:00pm. As an Exec member I was one of the few non-first years invited, and I got to have Abi along too. It was a lot of fun - the food was excellent, including ice cream, cookies and chocolate cake! Grand.
Once it finished, it was time for tidying away. That took from about 12:00am to 1:30am, with a load of us (including Abi) joining in. She was very amused by me following instructions to push a tablecover across the recently mopped floor with my feet, sliding along. A job well done. Unfortunately with all that, I had done almost no work that day, and it was imperative that I do so. Therefore once I got back, at about 2:00am, I started working. And I went on until about 6:00am. Ouch. Abi had fallen asleep in my room for most of that time. I managed to keep my concentration, but once I stopped I just had to crash into bed.
The next day I basically did as much work as was reasonably possible while still making it to the JCR meeting in the evening. And on Monday morning I was impressed with my ability to do a 1300 word essay in 70 minutes. Having met the deadline I felt okay about going with Abi to the "This House would design a baby" debate at the Union and seeing our local MP, Dr. Evan Harris, speak in proposition. Despite a good speech and the fact that I have a lot of respect for him, I voted against.
The next night Abi, Neil and I (in a very ad hoc arrangement) went to the cinema to see Serenity. It's a rather crazy film to get your head around if you haven't seen the preceding series, Firefly, but I just about managed. It haunted me for the rest fo the evening. Then on Tuesday we went to see Wallace & Gromit which was slightly more straightforward! Funny, but perhaps my sense of humour has moved on somewhat in 10 years...
And so the sick days continue as I hope to get better while (despite all the distractions mentioned above) doing a rather respectable amount of work. I believe I have tonight to properly stick at my work while tomorrow evening is Steve's bithday meal...
I first remember feeling it over a week ago, on Wednesday 12th. Its peak was Thursday, when I woke feeling dead. I still managed to drag my way through a respectable amount of work though, and attended the (surprisingly poor this year) "No Confidence in Her Majesty's Government" debate at the Union. The motion failed, so apparently the Union favours the Government now... I didn't get nearly enough sleep, so felt bad the next day. Events did not help. I ended up looking through my notes for my first week of Trusts in Burger King (Mmm...) and fighting against the wooziness in my head when trying to argue against my new tutor. Was Hunter v Moss correctly decided? I thought yes, but my tutor has come close to persuading me otherwise. I realise this probably means nothing to anyone likely to read my blog. Oh well.
Unfortunately, despite my request that I leave a bit early to get to the lecture (Trusts, no less - the very one she had strongly recommended we attend!) it didn't happen, so I had to dash across town. And feel ill once in said lecture. Bugger. Once I got home it was soon time to go out to the Socrates Society drinks with Abi. It's a philosophy society, and we have both now joined. There is a SocSoc meal on Sunday discussing ethics and hedonism, so I'm looking forward to that... We had to stay beyond the end waiting for Michelle (from Exeter college) because as Treasurer of the Society she had to stay to clear away.
The three of us then headed back down Abingdon Road, but beyond Ab House to Edith Road, home of the Exeter Massive, including Steve and Blath who were having a joint par-tay. Woo! It was a fun one as well. There had already been quite a bit of revelry before we arrived, evidence by people complaining about food having been smeared in strange places, and the fact that Sarah was drunk. She of course denied this at the time. But the fact that she was going around trying to trick people into drinking her vodka and orange (mixed in a 1:1 ratio, no less,) did give it away slightly.
Rich and Steve were also getting there drink-wise. Steve kept apologising for spiking my drink the previous weekend, appearing quite guilty about it. Rich still found it amusing of course, and I found out that Sarah had had a hand in it too! In any case a number of us ended up in Steve's room, drinking and chatting. Sarah had a beer, even though she still said it was horrible. At one point Steve and I hugged and Sarah decided to join in but managed to unbalance us onto the floor! Steve and Rich seemed...very close. Some of Abi's pictures towards the end of this post on her blog are the best evidence available.
It was a fun night indeed. As well as having a great time with a number of friends from both Hertford and Exeter, I got to play Twister (which, with so many drunk people, is hilarious!). Sarah 'won'. She also was sitting on it almost the whole time. Eventually Rich and Em took her home and Rich returned. I chatted to fellow lawyers Neil and Hannah. Hertford lawyers are often quite reluctant to talk about Law, so it was good to swap a few opinions. Eg. I like Tort but hate Contract with a passion, but most other people have it the other way around. Odd. At the end of the night it looked like Rich might just lay down and refuse to come with us, but he was as good as gold in the end. :-)
As for me, a good night's sleep was well needed, and came as blessed relief. It also was one reason that I didn't show up to the Freshers' post-matriculation drinks the next day, like I was supposed to. The other reason was that I had been confused, thinking I was needed for the Ball in the evening. To make up for the slip I helped set up the Hall from 2:30pm until about 3:15pm, and then from 6:00pm until the Ball started at 8:00pm. As an Exec member I was one of the few non-first years invited, and I got to have Abi along too. It was a lot of fun - the food was excellent, including ice cream, cookies and chocolate cake! Grand.
Once it finished, it was time for tidying away. That took from about 12:00am to 1:30am, with a load of us (including Abi) joining in. She was very amused by me following instructions to push a tablecover across the recently mopped floor with my feet, sliding along. A job well done. Unfortunately with all that, I had done almost no work that day, and it was imperative that I do so. Therefore once I got back, at about 2:00am, I started working. And I went on until about 6:00am. Ouch. Abi had fallen asleep in my room for most of that time. I managed to keep my concentration, but once I stopped I just had to crash into bed.
The next day I basically did as much work as was reasonably possible while still making it to the JCR meeting in the evening. And on Monday morning I was impressed with my ability to do a 1300 word essay in 70 minutes. Having met the deadline I felt okay about going with Abi to the "This House would design a baby" debate at the Union and seeing our local MP, Dr. Evan Harris, speak in proposition. Despite a good speech and the fact that I have a lot of respect for him, I voted against.
The next night Abi, Neil and I (in a very ad hoc arrangement) went to the cinema to see Serenity. It's a rather crazy film to get your head around if you haven't seen the preceding series, Firefly, but I just about managed. It haunted me for the rest fo the evening. Then on Tuesday we went to see Wallace & Gromit which was slightly more straightforward! Funny, but perhaps my sense of humour has moved on somewhat in 10 years...
And so the sick days continue as I hope to get better while (despite all the distractions mentioned above) doing a rather respectable amount of work. I believe I have tonight to properly stick at my work while tomorrow evening is Steve's bithday meal...
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Intellectual Honesty: Tony Blair
If Tony Blair had any intellectual honesty:
Scene: Downing Street
[Blair is walking up to the door to Number 10 when the police walk up to him]
Police Officer: I'm sorry sir, if you'd like to come with us...
Blair: There must be some kind of terrible mistake. I'm the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom!
[Author's note: That does indeed prove that there has been a terrible mistake, but not like he is thinking!]
P.O.: No sir, I have a warrant here to detain you under the Terrorism Act.
Blair: Detain me? Why? For how long?
P.O.: Um sir, you should well know that I am not required to give any explanation for your detention. [Looks at warrant] And according to this, I am to hold you for the full three months if possible.
Blair: The full three months! [Sighs] Well, I suppose it is for the security of the nation. [Holds up hands for handcuffs] Alright, let's get going.
P.O.: Very good, sir.
Blair: Will I be allowed to see my wife?
P.O.: Probably not, I'm afraid.
Blair: But what about in her capacity as a lawyer?
P.O.: [Laughs] Mr Blair, you did help draft the Act, remember! Now come on...
Blair: Oh well, I suppose. Oh dear, I wonder who will run the country while I'm away... [A moment's pause, then his eyes widen] Wait a minute, who signed that warrant?!
Scene: Press Conference at Number 10
Reporter: Mr Brown, while you seem to be settling into your new role comfortably, the public is still desperate to know - just where is Mr Blair?
Brown: [Pause, then a hint of a smile] Oh, I couldn't possibly say...
Scene: Downing Street
[Blair is walking up to the door to Number 10 when the police walk up to him]
Police Officer: I'm sorry sir, if you'd like to come with us...
Blair: There must be some kind of terrible mistake. I'm the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom!
[Author's note: That does indeed prove that there has been a terrible mistake, but not like he is thinking!]
P.O.: No sir, I have a warrant here to detain you under the Terrorism Act.
Blair: Detain me? Why? For how long?
P.O.: Um sir, you should well know that I am not required to give any explanation for your detention. [Looks at warrant] And according to this, I am to hold you for the full three months if possible.
Blair: The full three months! [Sighs] Well, I suppose it is for the security of the nation. [Holds up hands for handcuffs] Alright, let's get going.
P.O.: Very good, sir.
Blair: Will I be allowed to see my wife?
P.O.: Probably not, I'm afraid.
Blair: But what about in her capacity as a lawyer?
P.O.: [Laughs] Mr Blair, you did help draft the Act, remember! Now come on...
Blair: Oh well, I suppose. Oh dear, I wonder who will run the country while I'm away... [A moment's pause, then his eyes widen] Wait a minute, who signed that warrant?!
Scene: Press Conference at Number 10
Reporter: Mr Brown, while you seem to be settling into your new role comfortably, the public is still desperate to know - just where is Mr Blair?
Brown: [Pause, then a hint of a smile] Oh, I couldn't possibly say...
Work Timetable - Week 1
Don't feel that any of you have to take an interest in this - I'm putting this up mostly for my benefit (in case I lose the piece of paper):
Week 1
Day - Subject - Type - Time
Sun - Tort - Textbook - 40mins
Sun Total - 40mins
Mon - Tort - Textbook - 2h 45mins
- Trusts - Introductory Textbook - 1h
- Trusts - Textbook - 3h 45mins
Mon Total - 7h 30mins
Tue - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 6h 30mins
Tue Total - 6h 30mins
Wed - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 4h
Wed Total - 4h
Thur - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lectures - 2h
- Trusts - Articles - 4h 15mins
Thur Total - 7h 15mins
Fri - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Land - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Revision - 30mins
- Trusts - Tutorial - 1h
- Trusts - Lecture - 1h
Fri Total - 4h 30mins
Sat - Tort - Cases / Articles - 4h 30mins
Sat Total - 4h 30mins
Totals:
Trusts Reading List 1 - 20h
Week Total - 34h 55mins
Week 1
Day - Subject - Type - Time
Sun - Tort - Textbook - 40mins
Sun Total - 40mins
Mon - Tort - Textbook - 2h 45mins
- Trusts - Introductory Textbook - 1h
- Trusts - Textbook - 3h 45mins
Mon Total - 7h 30mins
Tue - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 6h 30mins
Tue Total - 6h 30mins
Wed - Trusts - Cases / Articles - 4h
Wed Total - 4h
Thur - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Tort - Lectures - 2h
- Trusts - Articles - 4h 15mins
Thur Total - 7h 15mins
Fri - Contract - Lecture - 1h
- Land - Lecture - 1h
- Trusts - Revision - 30mins
- Trusts - Tutorial - 1h
- Trusts - Lecture - 1h
Fri Total - 4h 30mins
Sat - Tort - Cases / Articles - 4h 30mins
Sat Total - 4h 30mins
Totals:
Trusts Reading List 1 - 20h
Week Total - 34h 55mins
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Intellectual Honesty: George W. Bush
If George W. Bush had any intellectual honesty:
Scene: The Oval Office
[Bush watches the statue of Saddam topple on TV]
Bush: Yeah! Take that Saddam! How's that for regime change?
Aide: Well done, Mr. President.
Bush: Now, who's next on the Axis of Evil? [Takes out crumpled piece of paper and squints at it] Uh, Zimbooble? Zimbawibble?
Aide: I think that's Zimbabwe, sir.
Bush: Excellent! Says here they have a repressive regime and sham elections. [Picks up phone] Rummy, now it's time to invade Zimba- Uh, that African place. [Puts down phone] Take that, President Moogabooga! [Takes out piece of paper]. Now, who's next?
Aide: Uh sir, shouldn't you concentrate on one country at a time? We don't have infinite resources...
Bush: Phooey! We're America, and we're here to bring freedom wherever it's not! [Looks at paper] Next, we'll go for...Saudi Arabia! Says here the regime is always abuserizing human rights.
Aide: But sir, the USA gains much from good relations with the Saudi Government...
Bush: That doesn't matter! We get into these wars in the name of freedom, not for our own benefit! There's no 'I' in America!
Aide: Uh...
Bush: Well, not the way I pronounce it.
Aide: Right. But, but, Saudi Arabia provides us with lots of oil.
Bush: Well, sucks to their oil! It's a nasty colour and, and it smells funny. [Looks proud of self. Picks up phone] Rummy, bomb Saudi Arabia!
Aide: Oh dear, dear me...
Bush: [Looks at paper] Next, we'll go for...The United Kingdom! Says here they're languishing under an unelected monarchy! [Picks up phone] Rummy, prepare to attack the UK- Oh, hehehe! Silly me, I like the UK! My Blair-bear lives there. [Looks around] Okay, which one of you pranksters put the UK on the Axis of Evil? Hehehe.
Aide: Oh dear... Uh, maybe that's enough for one day.
Bush: Maybe you're right.
[Phone rings, Bush picks it up]
Bush: Hello? NASA? Ooh, you're the space guys! What's that? Oh, really? Right... [Puts down phone]
Aide: What was that?
Bush: [Picks up helmet and starts pushing it onto his head] NASA have discovered life on another planet! A whole civilisation of beings we can't hope to understanderize!
Aide: Well that's wonderful news...
Bush: [Finishes putting on helmet. It's an astronaut's helmet] Yeah, they're apparently controlled by some kind of space dictator! And you know what that means...
Aide: Oh God no.
Bush: Yeah! [Picks up a light sabre which hums into life] It's time to use...the forces! The armed forces, that is. Hehehe.
Scene: The Oval Office
[Bush watches the statue of Saddam topple on TV]
Bush: Yeah! Take that Saddam! How's that for regime change?
Aide: Well done, Mr. President.
Bush: Now, who's next on the Axis of Evil? [Takes out crumpled piece of paper and squints at it] Uh, Zimbooble? Zimbawibble?
Aide: I think that's Zimbabwe, sir.
Bush: Excellent! Says here they have a repressive regime and sham elections. [Picks up phone] Rummy, now it's time to invade Zimba- Uh, that African place. [Puts down phone] Take that, President Moogabooga! [Takes out piece of paper]. Now, who's next?
Aide: Uh sir, shouldn't you concentrate on one country at a time? We don't have infinite resources...
Bush: Phooey! We're America, and we're here to bring freedom wherever it's not! [Looks at paper] Next, we'll go for...Saudi Arabia! Says here the regime is always abuserizing human rights.
Aide: But sir, the USA gains much from good relations with the Saudi Government...
Bush: That doesn't matter! We get into these wars in the name of freedom, not for our own benefit! There's no 'I' in America!
Aide: Uh...
Bush: Well, not the way I pronounce it.
Aide: Right. But, but, Saudi Arabia provides us with lots of oil.
Bush: Well, sucks to their oil! It's a nasty colour and, and it smells funny. [Looks proud of self. Picks up phone] Rummy, bomb Saudi Arabia!
Aide: Oh dear, dear me...
Bush: [Looks at paper] Next, we'll go for...The United Kingdom! Says here they're languishing under an unelected monarchy! [Picks up phone] Rummy, prepare to attack the UK- Oh, hehehe! Silly me, I like the UK! My Blair-bear lives there. [Looks around] Okay, which one of you pranksters put the UK on the Axis of Evil? Hehehe.
Aide: Oh dear... Uh, maybe that's enough for one day.
Bush: Maybe you're right.
[Phone rings, Bush picks it up]
Bush: Hello? NASA? Ooh, you're the space guys! What's that? Oh, really? Right... [Puts down phone]
Aide: What was that?
Bush: [Picks up helmet and starts pushing it onto his head] NASA have discovered life on another planet! A whole civilisation of beings we can't hope to understanderize!
Aide: Well that's wonderful news...
Bush: [Finishes putting on helmet. It's an astronaut's helmet] Yeah, they're apparently controlled by some kind of space dictator! And you know what that means...
Aide: Oh God no.
Bush: Yeah! [Picks up a light sabre which hums into life] It's time to use...the forces! The armed forces, that is. Hehehe.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Down The Bop
For Saturday night, I planned what we should do. We were to meet in my room at 9:00pm, head to college and to the bar (which I had not yet visited this term), then when it closed, to the bop which was to take place also in Hertford. Basically, the plan succeeded. It was a fun night.
The group ended up as me, Abi, Rich, Steve, Emma, Dan (Emma's boyfriend), Sarah and Dave. We got to the bar about 10 and set up camp at one of the tables with our drinks. I had a coke and Steve had a vodka and coke, which presented Rich with his opportunity. As soon as I was distracted he swapped them round, but I easily caught him in the act. The problem was telling which was which. I sniffed them but of course vodka is odourless, so it was up to Steve to work it out. He took a sip of one and told me it was his, so I happily took a gulp of the other one. Bastard. Should have known he and Rich would have been in cahoots somehow! Man, vodka burns the throat. It also makes the coke taste like it's gone off...
I decided right then to get back at Rich. I don't think Steve had realised that I really don't drink, and anyway he was just following Rich in it. Rich is the brains of the couple, affectionately known as 'Dickie' by his other half. My revenge was quick and simple: I pennied him. For those who have not come across this concept, it is where one puts a penny in the other's drink, thus forcing said person to down it. Rich had a good three quarters of a pint left when I pennied him. And just to give it a sweet taste of irony, the reason he had left his pint unguarded was to get a penny from his wallet to do the same to Dave!
I assume that it must have been downing the pint which got Rich pretty trashed last night, as he didn't seem to drink much else. However, he was drunk enough that when we arm wrestled not long afterwards, and I was blatently winning, he quickly resorted to digging his finger nails in! For shame, Rich. Abi has photographic proof of the result, as well. And I still won :-P.
Soon afterwards the bar closed and we went outside ready to enter the Bop Cellar (yes, it's really called that). Dave, Em and Dan headed off, and I found I had a missed call from Smo. I rang him back and he explained that he was trying to get hold of Sarah (there's no reception down the bar). I told him I'd tell her to ring him, but he asked why I couldn't just hand the phone to her. Uh, because I'm paying for the phonecall, Smo.
So the (not unexpected) result of their chat was that we hung around outside waiting for him to arrive. We met the (I think only) Computer Scientist of the new freshers and chatted to him. He had clearly earned Beast's respect, as the big man himself had given him a beer. We had all seen Beast down the bar earlier as he, Dickie Oldroyd and others are still in Oxford and see the Hertford bar as home (and the cheapest pint available in the city, no doubt).
So Smo arrived and we entered the Bop Cellar. It was not so grand at first, as the music was not the ordinary cheese that Hertfordians (particularly drunk ones) know and love, and it kept stopping at random times. Smo and Sarah soon left, and didn't come back. There's a shocker. The remaining four of us (me, Abi, Rich and Steve) stuck it out to the end and were rewarded with some proper tunes like 'The One and Only' and 'Scatman'. We headed out at the end and to Hassan's for our first kebabs of the term. As a veggie, I of course got lovely cheesy chips, and Abi as usual helped herself to a few. We got to the Exeter college (Steve's college) JCR to eat and drink. Finally with an incredible effort we got a very tired Abi and Rich (tired for different reasons!) to get up and come back to Ab House.
And after talking to Gwen on MSN late at night, I fell soundly asleep.
BTW, I have no idea what happened to Rich and Steve after they staggered back to the former's room. However, I was assured by Blath over MSN that Steve did get back eventually, which is something. As to the rest, we can but specualate... Don't worry Rich, I still love you. Just not as much as Steve, it seems... :-0
The group ended up as me, Abi, Rich, Steve, Emma, Dan (Emma's boyfriend), Sarah and Dave. We got to the bar about 10 and set up camp at one of the tables with our drinks. I had a coke and Steve had a vodka and coke, which presented Rich with his opportunity. As soon as I was distracted he swapped them round, but I easily caught him in the act. The problem was telling which was which. I sniffed them but of course vodka is odourless, so it was up to Steve to work it out. He took a sip of one and told me it was his, so I happily took a gulp of the other one. Bastard. Should have known he and Rich would have been in cahoots somehow! Man, vodka burns the throat. It also makes the coke taste like it's gone off...
I decided right then to get back at Rich. I don't think Steve had realised that I really don't drink, and anyway he was just following Rich in it. Rich is the brains of the couple, affectionately known as 'Dickie' by his other half. My revenge was quick and simple: I pennied him. For those who have not come across this concept, it is where one puts a penny in the other's drink, thus forcing said person to down it. Rich had a good three quarters of a pint left when I pennied him. And just to give it a sweet taste of irony, the reason he had left his pint unguarded was to get a penny from his wallet to do the same to Dave!
I assume that it must have been downing the pint which got Rich pretty trashed last night, as he didn't seem to drink much else. However, he was drunk enough that when we arm wrestled not long afterwards, and I was blatently winning, he quickly resorted to digging his finger nails in! For shame, Rich. Abi has photographic proof of the result, as well. And I still won :-P.
Soon afterwards the bar closed and we went outside ready to enter the Bop Cellar (yes, it's really called that). Dave, Em and Dan headed off, and I found I had a missed call from Smo. I rang him back and he explained that he was trying to get hold of Sarah (there's no reception down the bar). I told him I'd tell her to ring him, but he asked why I couldn't just hand the phone to her. Uh, because I'm paying for the phonecall, Smo.
So the (not unexpected) result of their chat was that we hung around outside waiting for him to arrive. We met the (I think only) Computer Scientist of the new freshers and chatted to him. He had clearly earned Beast's respect, as the big man himself had given him a beer. We had all seen Beast down the bar earlier as he, Dickie Oldroyd and others are still in Oxford and see the Hertford bar as home (and the cheapest pint available in the city, no doubt).
So Smo arrived and we entered the Bop Cellar. It was not so grand at first, as the music was not the ordinary cheese that Hertfordians (particularly drunk ones) know and love, and it kept stopping at random times. Smo and Sarah soon left, and didn't come back. There's a shocker. The remaining four of us (me, Abi, Rich and Steve) stuck it out to the end and were rewarded with some proper tunes like 'The One and Only' and 'Scatman'. We headed out at the end and to Hassan's for our first kebabs of the term. As a veggie, I of course got lovely cheesy chips, and Abi as usual helped herself to a few. We got to the Exeter college (Steve's college) JCR to eat and drink. Finally with an incredible effort we got a very tired Abi and Rich (tired for different reasons!) to get up and come back to Ab House.
And after talking to Gwen on MSN late at night, I fell soundly asleep.
BTW, I have no idea what happened to Rich and Steve after they staggered back to the former's room. However, I was assured by Blath over MSN that Steve did get back eventually, which is something. As to the rest, we can but specualate... Don't worry Rich, I still love you. Just not as much as Steve, it seems... :-0
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Collection And Beyond
Well, the Collection was a 'mare. I hate Contract Law with a passion. It was the cause of much stress last term, and now I had to sit a three hour paper on it. I had got down to revision about a week and a half before coming up, but rather than focussing on Contract I had gone through Tort instead, partly because the tutor had suggested starting the work on Pure Economic Loss (which I did), partly because we will still be studying it this term (unlike Contract, thankfully!) and partly because I vastly prefer Tort. It was only a few days before coming up that I started revising Contract, and realised just how much I had forgotten about it. Once I got back I revised as much as was possible, but none of it was really going in. Worse, with one day to go I had a full half of the syllabus to revise.
So, in between meetings on Thursday (one with my new Trusts tutor at Merton College, one with my Hertford tutors, lawyers' drinks where we met the freshers and a pseudo-Exec meeting with four of us), I desperately studied Misrepresentation to a decent degree, and attempted to understand Mistake. The last two weeks on Remedies were skimmed through at high speed. Late into the night I tried to remember cases until my brain automatically switched off at 1:15am, and I collapsed, defeated.
The Collection went about as well as it could have. I found myself unable to remember any but the most important and best-named cases, but most of the principles were still floating around in my head. I took the unusual step of doing one essay and three problem questions, rather than two of each, because it was hard to find essays on subjects I knew sufficient about! Still I just about managed to get through it.
Now I'm on tenterhooks for the results. If I get less than 50% (baring in mind that the practical maximum is 70%) then I have to retake, and if less than 40% I get put on probation, which is far closer to the possibility of being sent down (chucked out) than I want to consider. My fellow lawyers were all panicked up to the exam, but responses to the paper have been varied. In all honesty I'm really hoping not to be much below the other lawyers...
That night we went to Dave's place at Warnock House (the rest of us live nearby at Abingdon House) to watch my Team America DVD and finish off the chocolate cake my grandma generously made. Tonight we are going DTB (down the bar) and to the '007' themed bop. Should make for a good weekend before the inevitable hard work from Monday...
So, in between meetings on Thursday (one with my new Trusts tutor at Merton College, one with my Hertford tutors, lawyers' drinks where we met the freshers and a pseudo-Exec meeting with four of us), I desperately studied Misrepresentation to a decent degree, and attempted to understand Mistake. The last two weeks on Remedies were skimmed through at high speed. Late into the night I tried to remember cases until my brain automatically switched off at 1:15am, and I collapsed, defeated.
The Collection went about as well as it could have. I found myself unable to remember any but the most important and best-named cases, but most of the principles were still floating around in my head. I took the unusual step of doing one essay and three problem questions, rather than two of each, because it was hard to find essays on subjects I knew sufficient about! Still I just about managed to get through it.
Now I'm on tenterhooks for the results. If I get less than 50% (baring in mind that the practical maximum is 70%) then I have to retake, and if less than 40% I get put on probation, which is far closer to the possibility of being sent down (chucked out) than I want to consider. My fellow lawyers were all panicked up to the exam, but responses to the paper have been varied. In all honesty I'm really hoping not to be much below the other lawyers...
That night we went to Dave's place at Warnock House (the rest of us live nearby at Abingdon House) to watch my Team America DVD and finish off the chocolate cake my grandma generously made. Tonight we are going DTB (down the bar) and to the '007' themed bop. Should make for a good weekend before the inevitable hard work from Monday...
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
The Last Night at Home
Well, I'm back at university now. It was a good summer while it lasted. I haven't finished the second book yet, but I got a good way through it at least. I did finish the Matriculatrix though (as previously mentioned) which was gratifying. I also saw plenty of Abi, including a trip to Centre Parcs and the sailing trip. I worked enough to get some money, and went from my first ever driving lesson to reasonable competence. Finally, I also got to see most of my friends from home, some many times (sorry to those I didn't see, I will try at Christmas!).
So it came down to the last night before returning to my alma mater, good old Oxford U. I had take-away Indian food with my parents, which was satisfying but a challenge to my stomach! Then I went out with Claire, to meet Dav in The Eagle Vaults in town for a last night out.
During the night out, I managed to spend a grand total of 50p. This is how:
As Claire and I entered I went up to get us drinks and met Matt at the bar. I stood behind him talking to him, ready to take his place when he moved. While he was being served another man slipped in next to him, looking to order. I took Matt's position and tried to catch the eye of the barman. However, the man now behind me, realising that I was looking to get served, started mouthing off at me, accusing me of pushing into the queue when he had been there '10 minutes'. I tried to ignore it but the guy was large and threatening, even when someone behind the bar told him to calm down. To prevent trouble I let him order first, thinking perhaps he had done it just to make sure he got his drinks in first.
Then something strange happened. Once he had ordered he apologised to me, apparently genuinely sorry for his behaviour. I told him it was alright but once he got his drinks, before moving off he handed me a £5, telling me that it was his apology. I cautiously accepted it and he went off. Bizarre. So, I got the round with the note, which came to £3.50 for the two of us. Claire reckoned he must have been on something. I don't know. If anything, I reckon he was just on alcohol and had a short fuse.
The upshot was that I spent much of the night in possession of an extra £1.50. Dav arrived and got himself a whisky. Later Claire drove home and Dav and I went to the Palace, Witney's temple to all that is cheesy. When there I met Emma Pilchard, who I hadn't seen since Year 11 Latin! Anyway, I ended up getting another ridiculously cheap round for me and Dav which cost £2, and we went home not long after. Therefore overall I was only down 50p, a good way to end a reasonably expensive holiday.
Now I'm back at uni, and I really need to study if I want to get a half-decent mark on my Collection (mock exam)...
So it came down to the last night before returning to my alma mater, good old Oxford U. I had take-away Indian food with my parents, which was satisfying but a challenge to my stomach! Then I went out with Claire, to meet Dav in The Eagle Vaults in town for a last night out.
During the night out, I managed to spend a grand total of 50p. This is how:
As Claire and I entered I went up to get us drinks and met Matt at the bar. I stood behind him talking to him, ready to take his place when he moved. While he was being served another man slipped in next to him, looking to order. I took Matt's position and tried to catch the eye of the barman. However, the man now behind me, realising that I was looking to get served, started mouthing off at me, accusing me of pushing into the queue when he had been there '10 minutes'. I tried to ignore it but the guy was large and threatening, even when someone behind the bar told him to calm down. To prevent trouble I let him order first, thinking perhaps he had done it just to make sure he got his drinks in first.
Then something strange happened. Once he had ordered he apologised to me, apparently genuinely sorry for his behaviour. I told him it was alright but once he got his drinks, before moving off he handed me a £5, telling me that it was his apology. I cautiously accepted it and he went off. Bizarre. So, I got the round with the note, which came to £3.50 for the two of us. Claire reckoned he must have been on something. I don't know. If anything, I reckon he was just on alcohol and had a short fuse.
The upshot was that I spent much of the night in possession of an extra £1.50. Dav arrived and got himself a whisky. Later Claire drove home and Dav and I went to the Palace, Witney's temple to all that is cheesy. When there I met Emma Pilchard, who I hadn't seen since Year 11 Latin! Anyway, I ended up getting another ridiculously cheap round for me and Dav which cost £2, and we went home not long after. Therefore overall I was only down 50p, a good way to end a reasonably expensive holiday.
Now I'm back at uni, and I really need to study if I want to get a half-decent mark on my Collection (mock exam)...
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Smotographs
Well the Henry Box Forum's second photo competition has finished, and it is time to vote. So everyone who's registered, please do! The subject was lovable rogue Smo, and here is the thread with all the entries: Smo Photo Competition. Here is the voting page: Smo Photo Poll. Here are my entries to it:
The Passion of the Smo
Jon Bon Smovi
ConSMOvative
Also, for those interested, here is the previous photo competition, with me as the subject: Peter Photo Competition. 'Rock Your Body' by Dav won most creative, and 'Hedgehog Pete' by Gwen won most visually impressive.
The Passion of the Smo
Jon Bon Smovi
ConSMOvative
Also, for those interested, here is the previous photo competition, with me as the subject: Peter Photo Competition. 'Rock Your Body' by Dav won most creative, and 'Hedgehog Pete' by Gwen won most visually impressive.
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