Saturday, February 18, 2006

You Know You're a Law Student When...

Just a few. More when I think of them.

You know you're a law student when...

* You start pronouncing 'v' as 'and' in normal life. (This has happened perhaps irreperably to me. I saw a poster for Alien v Predator in a friend's room and mentioned it, unconsciously making the substitution. Luckily no-one was paying attention!)

* You start saying 'per' as a shorthand for 'as said by' or 'as evidenced by.' (A friend and I were discussing an essay and he made a point 'per our last tutorial.' I constantly back up arguments with 'per [insert academic / lecturer's name].') 'Per Lord Denning' becomes synonymous with 'this is a dodgy point of law.'

* On the subject of his lordship, your heart sinks automatically when you start reading a judgement which should be able to clarify a tricky point of law, only to find it prefaced by 'Lord Denning MR:' By the end of the estimed Master of the Rolls' summary of the facts, you have worked out who is going to win by who is presented in the positive light.

* More generally, your face lights up or sinks depending on which lawlord is making the leading judgement. (For me it's a beaming smile for Lord Millett, a slightly uncertain frown for Lord Browne-Wilkinson, an indulgent glance for Lord Diplock and an angry scowl for Lord Hoffmann).

* You start analysing events in terms of the interesting legal questions they bring up.

* You enjoy saying things like 'I am the law!' A lot.

Um...maybe it's just me.

4 comments:

the art student said...

anyone can say "I Am The Law!" that proves nothing, its like saying "Im a Banana tree!" (as per Queen) it meerly proves that you are dillusional.

as long as you dont start quoting the alphabet as: "... P Q R S T U and X Y Z" then i thikn youll be fine on the other front.

Good luck with that stuff, you never know, in many years time you could have law students pulling some stupid face when they hear your name too.

Joe said...

In a similar vein:

The Academic Hierarchy

THE PRESIDENT

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
is more powerful than a locomotive,
is faster than a speeding bullet,
walks on water,
gives policy to God.

THE VICE PRESIDENT

Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
is more powerful than a switch engine,
is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
walks on water if the sea is calm,
talks with God.

PROFESSOR

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds,
is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
can fire a speeding bullet,
walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
talks with God if special request is approved.

ASSOCIATE PROFESSOR

Barely clears a quonset hut,
loses tug-of-war with locomotive, but beats a Volvo,
can fire a crossbow, but really wants a gun,
swims well,
is occassionally addressed by God.

ASSISTANT PROFESSOR

Makes high marks on walls when trying to leap tall buildings,
can afford a Volvo, but can not beat it in a tug-of-war,
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
dog paddles,
talks to animals.

GRADUATE STUDENT

Runs into buildings,
can usually tell the difference between a Volvo and a locomotive,
is not issued ammunition,
can stay afloat with a life jacket,
talks to walls.

UNDERGRADUATE

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
says, "Look at the choo-choo,"
gets into water pistol fights,
plays in mud puddles,
talks to self.

DEPARTMENT SECRETARY

Lifts tall buildings and walks under them,
kicks locomotives off the tracks,
catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them,
freezes water with a single glance,
Is God.

Ming said...

I am the Law!

Heehee, you're right.

Rilla said...

Lol sounds so true. Especially points 3 and 4.