Richard at Philosophy et cetera has a very thoughtful and accessible while good humoured consideration of how to deal with the patriarchal elements of surnames traditionally passing from father to family and masculine pronouns being used to identify generic people:
Gender, Family Names and Pronouns
I agree with most of it, but I think that merged surnames look lame more often than they do, and I tend to alternate the gender of my generics.
Well worth a quick read!
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I like the idea of using the opposing gender pronoun to your own gender, that sounds pretty fair, although I am not sure what the practicalities would be. There was an article on the BBC news website about "meshing" surnames: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/5239464.stm
you can get some very amusing combinations if you think about it!
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