Well Thursday was quite a day...
Firstly there was the punting where Dav managed to climb over a bridge as the punt went under. The first time it was fine, but the second time there were...complications.
(I hope to link to the video if it goes up!)
Then there was the par-tay, billed as the event of the Summer (which was probably true!). It was Dav's 21st, and he had mates from my year and the year above at school, from the leisure centre where he sometimes works, from Nottingham University and from other sources no doubt. He had booked out Baby Love Bar at Oxford (nice place, but somewhat 'spensive, people!) from 7:00pm to 2:00am, on the condition that £1000 cross the bar that night. Now come on, do they really get close to that on a normal night?? Anyway, to get us started Dav had put £200 on a tab for us to take advantage of. Personally I would have put it as the *last* £200, not the first, so people had to pay in order to get to the free stuff. But whatever.
Well not all the events which took place that night are reportable, like admissions of illegality which might get people in trouble (and no Grum, for once I'm not talking about you :-P ). Still, there was more than enough to comment on:
* Shafter (Andy) had his hair in a pony tail. OMG. The Art Student side of him is taking over. I worry terribly for what will happen to him at university, without the relative normality of people here like me, Abi, Ming, Dav, Smo, Matt... Uh, relative normality? Actually forget it, if the pony tail is the strangest thing that happens to him, he will have got out lightly!
* The pole dancing. This started quite early, and for a long time was sadly male-only. Even your resident blogger himself had a turn. Dav certainly did, as did Ming, Matt, and plenty of others. Dav and Matt did male-male pole dancing, as did Dav and his mate Rich, apparently. Oh, and as the night went on and the alcohol flowed, more women took to the pole. What that says about the genders, I don't quite know...
* Dav got drunk. Not really a shocker, but definitely one to be mentioned. It was kind of the theme of the evening, especially as he told us going in that he fully aimed to end up smashed. Oh, did he succeed... I reckon he was properly gone by 11. He managed to get outside to throw up, and then was kept upright by a number of us, and prevented (for at least some time) from re-entering. That was how the following dialogue arose:
Dav: Let me back in to my club!
Ian: It's not your club, Dav. You just hired it.
Dav: I...paid for it! I even paid for...the bouncers!
Ian: There's only one bouncer, Dav.
Pete: It probably looks to him like there's two by now.
Ian: He can probably see eight, I'll bet.
Dav: Yeah, I've got an army of bouncers! (Weakly attempts to sing the Imperial March from Star Wars)
He needed two people to carry him about most of the time. I bet he wished his mum and gran weren't there, although his mum at least told me that she was going to turn a blind eye to his antics of that night - definitely a good thing. He still managed to get back into the bar occasionally, apparently on the promise that he would not drink more. Yes, because that will happen. Anyway, at least Vish made sure he had water, and I got him an orange juice which I allowed him to assume had alcohol in.
* Matt blew two party blowers with his nostrils. Word.
* Smo arrived and got them doing tequila stuntmen. This is where you snort up some salt, take a shot of tequila then squeeze a lemon into your eye. He did two, and Dav and others did one. The only really worrying thing about this was that Smo then drove people home at the end. To be fair it was about three hours later and to his credit they were all fine. Still, it did get me slightly worried.
*Foxy smoked. I know Abi's sick of hearing this, but it really was a shocker. He apparently smokes when drunk. Well, I knew that Smo smokes when he wants to get drunk as it thins the blood and so makes it quicker and cheaper. Still, this was something quite different. He also offered it around. Jimmy took a few puffs, but it was refused by me, Ming, Andy and Matt.
* The dancing was wonderfully cheesy after 10, when the DJ arrived. All the classics were pumped out, and I was happy to join Dav and others in appreciating them. When Ghostbusters came on, Dav, Jimmy and I celebrated, (recalling how the three of us came into school on the last day dressed as Ghostbusters, in Dav's mum's car which had been fitted out as the Ghostbustermobile). Dav and Andy attempted to remember the Men In Black dance routine Dav had created for the school variety show (and Dav still did better, despite being significantly drunker). The Macarena made an appearance, along with the approriate dance, as did The Timewarp. Classic.
* A rather drunken Jimmy talked to Abi. After mistaking her for Sarah (my ex-girlfriend) he then randomly started telling her about Shelley and other things. On the positive side, he seems to like Abi, although there may have been more drink talking than Jim!
* I only heard about this later, thanks to the school forum, but we did get this gem from Smo, talking to Grum about sex (what else?):
Smo: Does she take it up the wrong-un?
Grum: It's not something I would wanna do; it seems a bit gay.
Smo: No her putting on a strap-on and giving YOU one up the gary would be too gay.
For added effect, the music cut out for just the last few words of Smo's line, leaving people staring at him, confused and a little worried.
* Andy and I managed to get into a mock fight about something. It had something to do with him jabbing Abi for something (probably camera-related). I jumped on his back and he swung me about quite a bit.
* By the end, the only ones I noticed as really drunk were Dav (getting the prize for drunkest, by far), Jimmy (who had trouble with words) and Foxy (who by contrast turned into Mr. Suave). Grum and Ming were surprisingly sober, given the amount they had drunk. Smo was sober by necessity. All the girls managed to stay pretty sensible (although given the male : female ratio, this was less surprising!).
* When I changed from punting, I left my casual shirt, shoes and fleece in a plastic bag which ended up in Dav's mum's car. Unfortunately the food was then packed into it at the end of the night so I couldn't get to it when it was time to go home. Result: I went to Abi's house in London from Fri - Sun wearing for the most part an old pair of white trainers!
* And as far as I can tell, we were still £300 short by the end of the night...
Well, it was quite a party. If there's anything I have forgotten, please remind me and I will probably add it in at an appropriate point. Cheers all!