Somewhat Random Satire

How Charlie Joined Fightstar

Fightstar: Well your resume is certainly impressive given the number of Top 10 hits your first band had in a rather short space of time. However, we’re just not sure you’re right for Fightstar. You see, we’re proper metal, and you were…well practically a boyband.

Charlie: Uh, that’s just not true! We spoke from the heart.

Fightstar: About attractive air hostesses and time travel?

Charlie: Don’t forget the Thunderbirds.

Fightstar: We’re really not sure this is a good idea… After all, why would you want to leave a band with such international success as Busted?

Charlie: Funny you should ask, cause I’ve prepared a song that should explain all that and persuade you to let me join!

Fighstar: Did you write it?

Charlie: Uh, I co-wrote it, like most of Busted’s songs…

Fightstar: Figures. Fine, go ahead.

Charlie: Ahem.

[To the same tune as the hit from ‘Grease’]

We’ve had hits, they're multiplyin', but my future’s looking bleak
Cause I’ve been to the year 3000, and Busted’s looking kinda weak.

You better shape up, cause I need a band,
and my heart is set on you
You better shape up, you better understand,
to my roots I must be true
Cause I’m a rocker through and through!

You're the one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh,
I won’t settle
Until I’m singing Nu Metal!

If you're faced with dejection,
Not enough fame comes your way
Bag a singer from a pop group, get more pay.

I better shape up, cause you need a singer
To keep the fans satisfied
I better shape up, prove I’m not a minger
In my dulcet tones you should take pride
Hiring me’s not suicide!

You're the one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh,
We’ll go far
If I can join Fightstar!

You're the one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh, money!
The one that I want (you are the one I want),
ooh ooh ooh,
With my looks and voice
Do you have a choice?

[End]

Fightstar: Wow. You’re so right. With you in the band we’ll have no trouble making it into the mainstream. How can we lose?

Charlie: Excellent! So I’ll be lead singer?

Fightstar: No, I think you’d be better suited to backing vocals.

Charlie: Okay. Buy I’ll get to write lyrics, right?

Fightstar: Um, we’ll get back to you on that one.

And so the next stage of Charlie’s epic music journey began…