Well, I didn't guarantee the satire would be brilliant, did I? Meh, if people liked it, feel free to comment. In fact, always feel free to comment.
Just wanted to put down my thoughts about the jobs I have done so far. It is not an incredible list. I have been unable to find proper jobs, and prefer flexibility anyway. Therefore, I do temp work. I've just finished it for this Summer, so here is my CV so far:
Helped a cartographer map out levels in an old car park - 1 day.
Making / sorting packaging for computer games - 1 day.
Washed up and served in a company canteen - 4 days.
Picked out bad eggs and packed boxes at egg factory - 3 days.
Removed labels from plastic safety devices - 4 days.
So what's to learn from this? Well, firstly, that manual labour can be the pits. The absolute worst was the packaging computer games. Like a fool, I heard "You will be working with computer games" and thought "Ooh, I like them! It'll be fun!" Rookie mistake. After that, it was the egg factory. The stress of preventing the conveyor belts from building up a backlog, spewing eggs all over the floor was actually pretty acute.
But do you know the big difference which made these bad and made the de-labelling reasonably pleasant? In the latter I got a chair. I got to sit down rather than stand up all day. That's definitely worth something. Sitting down to work is wonderful. It gives me another reason to get my degree and get lawyering. Yes I'll be standing up in court, but for a lot of the time I'll be *sitting at my desk*! Excellent!
The other thing that caught my imagination was the job title I got for this latest job. Labelling Assistant. Hmm. Got me wondering whether it would look good on my actual CV. I mean, think about it. I get to put on my CV "Temporary Work:" and then describe the jobs I did. Nice titles like that aren't such a bad way to go. So, let's think about the others, shall we?
Cartographer's Assistant [Nice and simple.]
Quality Control Assistant [Bling! Just for removing bad eggs...]
You see? Of course I'm an assistant in each, since it's temp work, but it looks much better than the original list I made, doesn't it? That's using your head...